Esther's Ever After

UGH. The episode opens with Clary back in the Brotherhood of the Traveling Pants apartment. She suggests rather than Umbridging (yes, I'm making it a verb) her skin, he sends an email. Or just DON’T. #Shadowhunters // @Kat_McNamara pic.twitter.com/AG3Gf1dqzx — Shadowhunters (@ShadowhuntersTV) March 19, 2019 And I already want the episode to end. Their banter makes me nauseous. We then discover that Seb is making a Downworlder glamour herself as Clary. Insert the godawful show theme -- this is the huuuuuuuuuunt. Indeed. I keep hunting for material from the books to no avail. In the storage room of the Jade Wolf restaurant, Maia opens the door because the pounding stopped. 'Cause that makes sense. Not that the vamps could still be out there or anything. Great dialogue moment: Jordan: Alright. Uh. We just have to sit tight. Someone will come for us eventually. Maia: Who?!?! My whole pack was just slaughtered, Luke stepped down and the Jade Wolf is freakin' closed on Mondays...

We start off with the Praeter Lupus investigating Maureen's victims. Nick, Jordan's buddy, gets stabbed by Maureen while he's in Twi-wolf form. Aside: I'm so glad they get to use that GIANT wolf imagery again. It's just plain comforting to know that werewolves are always giant and have kind eyes. Beati Bellacosi. Blessed are the warriors. One dead wolf boy. So starts our "this is the huuuuuuuuunt" thirteenth epi. Simon hands Izzy a cup of tea and this brilliant dialogue commences: Simon: How are you? Izzy: Drained Simon: Izzy, I'm so sorry about that. Izzy: It was a joke. Simon: You could've died. Ah, this is exactly why I've lost all hope for the show. Remember, MMs, it was in the last episode when Simon literally drained Izzy's blood. So, yeah. Good writing, mes anges. Both of their phones chirp at the same time. And we have our Simon-Clary choreographed-for-no-reason slide moment: THIS HUG. #Shadowhunters // @Kat_McNamara & @aro...

Every time, I think about stopping watching this pure crap show, I think, wait, it may have something redeemable in it. Sadly, I'm always wrong. So in the second episode of Season 3B, we start off with the Brotherhood of the Traveling Apartment, as our boy, Seb,  and his sissy, Clary, find themselves in good old romantic Paris. Let's start with the awful dialogue right at the beginning: Seb: I'll forgive you for trying to kill me anyway Clary: So...how does this work? If one of us gets hurt the other one does, too? Seb: That appears to be the case. pic.twitter.com/Cypho5V0jD — Shadowhunters (@ShadowhuntersTV) March 5, 2019 OML, we just watched an entire scene of it in the previous epi, and in case, we forgot, it was also in the things-you-wish-you-forgot intro of this epi. Bring out all the eyerolls all at once. I can't even with this show. So, I'll focus on the highlights or should I say lowlights. Malec are being so cute, but weird. A whole monologue from Magn...

From @shadowhunterstv twitter As we say in ShadowhunterLand, ave, atque, vale -- hail and farewell. Maybe add in a good riddance for good measure. I've decided to bravely forge on with my reviews of these last few episodes. I wonder, at times, if any book fans are still watching. We've been through so much, MMs -- hail and farewell indeed. Just in the recap of what occurred previously, I was already ho-hummed. Clary was sentenced to death? Jace forced Clary to come to Lillith? MAGNUS TRADED HIS MAGIC TO BREAK LILLITH'S BOND ON JACE? SIMON'S MARK KILLS CLARY? Where was I? Why didn't I remember this? Oh wait, it wasn't in the books! Eleven billionty pages of material, and our friends over at Constantin Films/Freeform just threw it all out. Wait, I remember now. The taste of fandom betrayal. Bitter with an aftertaste of Clary's coffee left out for days. In BizarroShadowhunterWorld, Jace is attacked by Dotharki in a sewer. I kid you not, there were spear-wieldi...

Check out this exciting news Shadowhunter fans! Select Barnes & Noble around the USA are hosting Shadowhunter Army meet ups to celebrate the release of Queen of Air And Darkness. Cassie herself will NOT be at these events, but that doesn't mean they still won't be fun. Check out the details and the graphic above for locations and times, that Cassie shared earlier today: Exciting news! @barnesandnoble is hosting 10 #ShadowhunterArmy meetups to celebrate the release of #QueenOfAirAndDarkness! Check the graphic for times, dates & locations. What exactly are these meetups? Read on for more details. - These are authorless in-store events. I won’t be there because I’ll be on tour. But you’ll be able to meet & hang out with your fellow fans! Each event will have games & activities (trivia, scavenger hunt). All attendees will get a Barnes & Noble EXCLUSIVE Shadowhunters poster. There will also be a grand prize raffle to win a Magnus plush, Shadowhunter tote, & ...